We all strive for one thing – happiness. How we get there or what it looks like can vary so much. So, how the fuck do we do it? Do we ever REALLY get there when our lives have been shaped by so many outside forces? How can we be happy amidst our personal and global problems? What does happiness ACTUALLY look like for you, the true you?
When our culture and belief systems is based on outward gains, escapes, accolades and acquisitions, we often forget that we can make all these things happen by going inward, without force, and get what we truly desire.
I was scrambling on the outside trying to find something, someone, some substance to take away the pain, trauma and anxiety. I knew who I was deep down, but I had absolutely no idea how to unpack everything that happened to me. I felt like I was in a fog of pain, unable to move forward, no matter how many steps I tried taking. I was able to fake confidence and composure most of the time, but I was crumbling inside.
I grasped for physical therapists and doctors that understood that I didn’t want pain meds and some standard PT exercises to tuck away my chronic back pain after a car accident.
I craved a therapist who didn’t want to push medication on me regarding my ADHD, OCD, anxiety and PTSD. And when I finally tried medication it actually made me MORE sick and stressed!
I found myself jumping into relationships that were not fueled with fire and love, but passive, easy for me to control and almost completely devoid of a real connection. I pushed friends away, only to desperately reach out to them, begging for a deeper connection. I was so incredibly lonely.
I wanted to stop turning to substances to help me cope, and I knew enough about other healing modalities to recognize this wasn’t my path. I tried on and off to get more involved in wellness, but I was trapped in a schedule that didn’t suit birthing a new me.
Career-wise I found myself shackled to a cubicle in physical and emotional pain, jumping from job-to-job. At my final desk job, I realized I was sick of trying to prove myself to companies and men who quite frankly did not give a shit if I was happy or healthy.
When things didn’t work out, I resorted to just packing up and running away to different states or countries (California, Portland, Seattle, Cameroon, Finland, Paris just to name a few!). Whenever I came back though, my problems still persisted, or had become worse.
I wasn’t healing, I was numbing, and my body was not having it anymore. I was getting SICK of myself.
I was already getting regular massages, got certified in Reiki and would get the occasional acupuncture, but it was consistent enough to elevate my life. I still found myself in an apartment I couldn’t afford, a boyfriend who I had just kicked out three months before that for cheating on me and a job that was slowly sucking away my zest for life.
I slowly made plans in every facet of my life to shift into who I wanted to be. The start of this “fed-up-ness with my life for real” was when I attended a gong ceremony, activating a shift in me and someone close to me, and things were never the same.
I asked the universe for more people to come into my life to help me on this journey. With surprising ease, they did. I was finally ready to receive.
I was lucky enough to really take the time to hone in with a therapist, a priestess healer, a boss diva abundance/business coach and I got on a more regimented schedule with massage therapy, colon cleansing and other detox methods.
During this time I was working through my bullshit and fell MADLY in love with a supportive, amazing, feminist partner that accepts me exactly the way I am! It isn’t always easy, but putting in that loving work for myself really helped create a healing, safe space for our relationship to grow and allow old habits to fall away.
Please note I did this all on my own dime, have debt just like everyone else, and took out an extra credit card to get here ( P.S. I’d tell myself -money is energy and I know the universe will bring it all back a million times over! (P.S.S. feel free to use this mantra!))
The work was not easy. I had to rip myself open, shed layers (and tears), let go of a lot of fears (that still pop up on occasion), narratives in my head that weren’t my own, acknowledge my demons and dive deep into traumas and relationships that negatively shaped my reality.
But like I said, I was fed up and ready to do the work. I am still doing the work. It is a never-ending journey of highs, lows and in-betweens of this beautiful life. Come on this journey with me.
By getting back to the core of myself (good and bad) and working everyday even just for a minute or two releasing anything that no longer serves me has helped shift my thoughts and emotions to a more calm, powerful sea that I can tap into when life makes the water choppy.
Even when wellness and fighting my demons was pretty much my only job, I STILL found some pushback inside, a deep dark sludge that is not easy to eradicate.
At times I felt like I was going to be judged for not completing certain exercises, for not being zen enough, for not ascending enough, for still liking wine, and for not completely agreeing with the guidance I was receiving.
As time went on, this judgment began to fade (because let’s face it, it was just myself getting in my own way), and I listened to ME. What felt right for me and my body and what resonated with me on my path to healing.
I realized wellness not an all or nothing path based on someone’s ideas of what I needed or if I was doing it “right.”
This journey fully activated my power and positivity that I was dying to get back to! Naturally all my strengths, powers and knowledge over all these years came together and BLOSSOMED into a tangible program that helps ANYONE in any stage of life!
I have always had a short attention span, crazy self-awareness and an affinity for alternative methods of healing… what if I could finally use all of my experience to help YOU? That’s when the Five Minute Method and the Fast-Track to Happiness was born.
These programs are a no-judgement, healing buffet of everything I have learned over the past twelve years.
Those who offer guidance are not perfect people/healers/’better’ than you, we are merely channels to help you heal yourself.
It is messy and nonlinear and the BEST thing you could ever do for yourself.
I want to make your path to appreciating this life easy. I want you to have everything you desire!
Let me show you the way as quickly as possible.
It’s time for us to rise. Let’s get happy now and shift our worlds together, so we can help shift the planet.